The Montreal Grand Prix Never Left

The hot story right now is that the Montreal Grand Prix is back. I personally knew that they would be back one day or another, and that Bernie Ecclestone would realize his mistakes.

The Ultimate List of Shisha Places in Montreal City

I currently have this little voting list going on in another post that you guys may want to check out. Currently, the best shisha place in Montreal (rated by Montrealers) is Sherazad. If you don’t like how the list looks so far, then you guys better do something about it (which is: vote). Owners, take note of the following criticisms I have of your places!

• Toot Café: My first downtown shisha experience with friends. It’s a cozy place (last I visited) and might need to be renovated here and there, but still an okay establishment.
• Sherazade: Right now, this is my favourite place downtown. The service and the quality of the shisha is great. They’re not cheap on the coals either.
• Orienthé: My second pick when it comes to smoking downtown. I don’t like the seating system that much and the fact that you have to take your shoes off inside (but I’ll let it slide for now). The outside terrace is much better, especially during the summer time. Sometimes, it’s way too hot inside and uncomfortable after extended seating periods. What’s better than the shisha here is the Moroccan mint tea. This stuff is gold.
• Café Al-Dar: Shisha is… ehh, okay. The tea is quite good. Plenty of seating for all your friends. The crowd can be quite sketchy sometimes.
• Kafein: Turn down the music already! I want to enjoy shisha with my friends, not by myself listening to loud music. The shisha bowls are either underpacked or not properly prepared (too many holes in the foil, too dry, etc). Right now at the bottom of my place. Only time you’ll catch me in there is if I’m somehow banned from everywhere else.

There’s also the following places, but I have yet to try them out.

• Café Gitana
• Chez Zaza: I haven’t smoked there yet, but when I asked to buy Al Fakher tobacco, I was promptly told they can’t sell it to me. Instead, they gave me dried up Nakleh tobacco and charged me 20$ for a small box. Only reason I bought it was because of an emergency (smoking at my friends’ engagement party). Serious. I ended up throwing the box in the trash since there was virtually no moisture in the packaging.

Am I missing any places here? We need to create a master list of shisha places in Montreal or something.

Garde-Manger in Old Port Montreal: If It Tasted Any Better, It Would Be Illegal

This review can be summarized with the following two words: lobster poutine. Eat your heart out, La Banquise.

My good friend Dave calls me up two weeks ago; “Want to go check out Garde-Manger? I managed to secure a table for four people. Kriss and Lindsay are coming along too, and we need a fourth participant.” There was no way in hell I was passing this opportunity, so I hastily agreed. I kept hearing about this place from friends, and I wanted to review it for Montrealing ever since I first witnessed it across from Santos.

Getting a table at Garde-Manger is a bit hard, as the restaurant is constantly packed with people. Dave had to call in a week and a half in advance to reserve a table for four people. This says a lot concerning Garde-Manger: they must be doing something right if they’re always this full. Most of the publicity this place gets comes from the cooking show Chuck’s Day Off (seen on FoodTV). Don’t let this fool you though, as the quality of the food alone would be enough to sustain their business without the extra publicity.

Friday night rolls around, and our reservations are for 9:30 PM. Since Montreal city loves digging up their roads constantly, we decided to leave early to curb traffic and cut through the mess Old Port is currently in at the time of writing this review. For reasons unknown, there was no traffic and finding parking was a breeze. This resulted in arriving at our destination half an hour early. Luckily for us, our table was already ready and we were seated immediately.

Looking around the (packed) place, it reminded me of a time where restaurants were actually in business to please their clientèle. Garde-Manger is quite warm and cozy. If this place could talk, it would say: “sit down, relax, have a coffee… there’s no rush, stay for as long as you like”. With that said, Garde-Manger is small in size. I think the whole place can roughly handle 40 seated people at a time. But great things come in small packages, right?

The only menu you’ll get here is a wine list, so you’re going to have to glance at a nearby wall that has the specialties scribbled on a blackboard. This leads me to realize that their menu changes constantly. On the left side of the blackboard are the appetizers, while the right side features the entrées. There were so many dishes I wanted to try as they all sounded great, but I settled on the short-ribs with barbecue sauce as I had a craving for meat. Right before the waitress moved on to ask what Dave was ordering, two magical words that were at the top of the appetizers list just hit me in the head: lobster poutine. Rudely cutting off my friend placing his order, I screamed it out: “LOBSTER POUTINE!”. That’s when Dave and Kriss looked at each other and said “make that three”. The waitress, smiling, wrote it down on her pad.

Lindsay, who is not a big seafood fan, decided to try the salad with cheese-balls.

Since my friends are the kind of people who love sharing, I managed to savour a few dishes in one sitting. From top to bottom, the images below feature the short-ribs, pork & mushrooms and duck meat. I can’t describe what the dishes were mainly composed out of, but what I can confirm is that everything just tasted so damn good. The pork was very tender (properly cooked) and the duck… well, I’ll simply quote Kriss: “They didn’t even ask me to cook it medium-rare… this is how it’s supposed to be. They got it right on the money.” I couldn’t have agreed more when I tried it.

I thought the meal I was having was the bomb, up until I glanced over to the table next to me. I cannot describe the monstrosity of this tray, so I will let the picture do the talking.

Finally, our night was coming to an end, but there was desert on the horizon. The four of us didn’t know what to expect in terms of sweets. Before the desert, our waitress asked us whether we wanted any coffee or tea. Kriss and I tried the espresso, Dave had Earl Grey tea while Lindsay had a cappuccino. It was a machine that prepared the coffee, so it was good, although my espresso felt a bit luke-warm. Now, choices for desert were banana cake with caramel, fried Mars bar, and the classic chocolate brownies fused with marshmellows. All three of these dishes were served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side. In the order they were introduced, take a glimpse of what you will experience should you have a chance to check out Garde-Manger.

If there was a list of places I would take my first date out on, Garde Manger would be at the top. The place is small and cozy, and dimly lit for that seclusive factor when you’re with friends or a loved one. I had one of the finest dining out experiences in a long time. I’ll be coming back to this restaurant very, very soon.

Pros

• Delicious meals, all original
• Cozy atmosphere
• Great wine list
• Excellent service
• Lobster poutine

Cons

• Somewhat pricey
• Loud, but you can still have a conversation
• Reserving a place is difficult, so think in advance!
• Get ready to add on some unwanted weight with all the great food

Address: 408 Saint-François-Xavier, Old Port
Telephone: (514) 678-5044

Restaurant Lordia: Laval’s Only Good Resto

I’m never too keen to hit up a middle-eastern sit-down restaurant, even though I’m considered a middle-easterner and think like one. Usually, these places are ghetto, badly run-down and the food never tastes good. When I was invited to hit up Lordia for a birthday party, I was a bit hesitant at first, but I decided to try it out anyway as I am working for an editorial website after all…

The birthday invitation said the party starts at 9:30 PM and ends at 3:00 AM. With a little bit of math and experience, I concluded I should hit the place up at 10:30 PM. Reason why I delayed by an hour was because I know middle-easterners like me always tend to be late. I was right again this time, as only half of the invitees arrived when I got there. Secondly, the appetizers (not to mention the main dishes) are always served late… always. There’s no point of going early to these types of places because you’ll go crazy while you starve. I recommend you curb your appetite with a little snack before you go to Lordia. You’ll thank me later.

Within twenty minutes of sitting down, the cold and hot mezzes were served (my timing was perfect) and they looked pretty good. There was the usual tabbouleh, hummus, basterma, soujouk, falafel, balila and stuff you would have no clue what they are judging by their names. I can assure you they all taste great, especially this one little dish that had an orange-ish cream with escargots floating in it. Escargots! At this point of my night, I was very pleased with the way things were going.

One thing people don’t know about these types of restaurants is that the main dishes are always served very, very late… I’m talking twelve o’clock here, sometimes as late as 1 AM. It’s best you feast on the mezzes as much as you can, because you might starve to death till the meat arrives.

One thing I highly recommend is the shisha [arguile] while you wait for your food to arrive. The tobacco tends to suppress your appetite just a bit and allows you to socialize with your gathering over a bottle of wine, relaxing you and all the while keeping your mind off the food. You will, of course, have access to the mezzes while you smoke and drink. When the meat and chicken dish finally arrived, everyone on my table attacked it at the same time. Both the meat and chicken were well cooked (via charcoal) and had plenty of flavour. The wait was definitely worthwhile.

I’d like to mention one thing in particular that really set the mood for Lordia. There is this one guy with a crazy-awesome moustache and red hat who walks around, making sure everything is up to par on your table and to your liking. He’s also the guy who brings you the shisha and makes sure your charcoal on the bowl is lit at all times. If he catches you touching the charcoal, he tells you to keep your hands off it and that it’s his job. I was told that he is the owner of Lordia, but I cannot verify this right now. Awesome service is all I got to say.

Pros

• Amazing shisha/arguile, one of the best smokes I’ve had
• Nice decor and atmosphere, very clean
• Professional & friendly staff members and waiters
• There is a belly dancer. Belly dancer.

Cons

• Washrooms a bit too small, no ventilation, steamy…
• Music a bit too loud sometimes, cuts through conversations
• Main dishes served a bit too late

Piknic Électronik (June 28th Edition)

Montreal has never had it so good when it comes to electronic dance music.

There are only a few great electronic music events in Montreal, and Piknic Electronik is high up there. While I’ve been to Bal en Blanc, Cream, Celebration/Resolution and countless of after-hours events with big name DJs, nothing comes close to Piknic’s setup. Take four parts of talented DJs (and maybe one or two that’s very well known internationally) throw in some powerful speakers and subs and host the event outdoors: you get a Piknic Electronic. What makes it better is that the event is on a Sunday and it starts at 2 PM and ends something close to 10 PM, so there’s no staying up late trying to enjoy the music. The cherry on top to all this? The entrance fee is only 10$.

The true electronic music lovers will recognize the big name artist in this lineup for the day, and that is the infamous Richie Hawtin who is an English-Canadian artist, owner of  record label Minus. I could go on and on about Hawtin’s music style, but that is out of the scope of this review. The majority of Montrealers out there will most likely not enjoy minimal techno as much as I do, so I’ll leave it for everyone to hear for themselves and judge accordingly.

Last time I had a chance to attend the event was two or three years ago, or the last time Richie Hawtin was in town. There was something close to a thousand people and more wondering around Ile St-Hèlene, and a large portion of them dancing to the beats to the artist of the moment. It was a gorgeous day and everyone was in a damn good mood. If I’m not mistaken, I believe there was alcohol being served to the public, or it might’ve been people bringing in their own bottles of booze. I don’t remember much of my surroundings because I was dancing away to Hawtin’s music. What I do remember, however, is the amount of people smoking marijuana close to the water.

For June 28th, the line-up consists of the following artists:

• 2:00 PM: Stefny Winter
• 4:00 PM: Pheek
• 5:00 PM: Ambivalent
• 6:30 PM: Barem
• 8:00 PM: Richie Hawtin

Piknic Electronik runs from May to October, so check out Piknik’s website if you wish to know the upcoming artists and their respective dates.

I managed to get to the event at around 5:25 PM due to me getting lost, but all I had to do was follow the music. Parking cost me 10$ and was a good 7 minute walk away from the main event, but I didn’t mind it. At about 5:35, a rush of people started swarming in from a nearby metro station.

Entry was pretty quick; there was a lack of security as bags were not searched. Not that I fear that anything happens during these events, since rarely I hear about violence during an electronic music event. The lack of security, however, was made up for the fact that about twenty something police officers showed up to patrol the event. There’s no denying that drugs are being sold here and the cops want to crack down on it. I got a few looks my way while I sitting around watching people walk by. Perhaps they thought I was the one selling since I looked so suspicious.

This year, there are more people than ever, and to answer the mystery about the booze situation here: you can bring your own booze but don’t get caught! The trick is to either bring beer in cans rather than bottles. If you bring bottles, you should bring plastic cups. If you want to buy, there’s stands selling alcohol and food for the public.

Since I’m covering this event live (yup, out here with my camera and laptop) a lot of people came up to me asking why I’m on this darn thing. I told them I’m working and enjoying the music.

More photos available, just continue browsing after the 30th picture.

Are The Habs Improving?

Do you think the Montreal Canadiens are improving their game lately? Has Carey Price finally stopped popping bottles at the clubs and bringing women home? Was it wise to throw Carbonneau out?

The Pope Blesses Montreal Canadiens Fans

On a tour in Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Montreal Canadiens jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark’s side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Leafs fan from the water. Then using baseball bats, the three heroes in red beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately, the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. “I give you my blessing for your brave actions,” he told them. “I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Leafs and Habs fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth.”

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies: “Who was that?”

“It was the Pope,” one replied. “He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God’s wisdom.”

“Well,” the harpooner said, “he may have access to God’s wisdom, but he doesn’t know shit about shark fishing… how’s the bait holding up?”

Abu Dhabi to Montreal: The Formula One is ours

Reading the newspaper this morning, I came across an article in the Montreal Gazette that supposedly claimed there are rumours out in the wild that the Formula One will be coming back to Montreal this fall. Abu Dhabi was behind schedule for their November 1st weekend, due to delays in building the race track. These rumours, however, have now been shut down because the planners for the Abu Dhabi races started selling tickets for the event this morning as planned. Coincidentally, November 1st is also the day the minicipal elections will take place, and Gérald Tremblay may have the chance of running his third consecutive term in office, a record currently being held by the beloved Jean Drapeau.

In my opinion, I think Montreal should just move on and forget the Formula One weekend ever existed… for now anyway. I know it’ll be back one day, when Bernie Ecclestone wakes up and gets his head out of his ass.

Gillett considers selling Montreal Canadiens

In case you haven’t heard, about 4-5 hours ago, several news outlets (here’s one) have reported that the Gillet family is selling the Montreal Canadians hockey team. I guess Mr. Gillet has had enough of his team losing and is wanting to get out before the team is worth nothing more than a stack of pennies. I really can’t blame him either. The whole 100th Anniversary thing is a joke now and needs not to be mentioned with the way the team is playing this season.

It was only last week that Bob Gainey fired head coach Guy Carbonneau, and we seriously have seen zero improvement in the way the Canadians are playing. You know who I blame? Carey Price. This kid has been spotted downtown more often than Hollywood “The Banana Guy”. Seriously, you can most likely find him at any of the higher end clubs smoking and getting shit-faced with a couple of locals. This type of behaviour is to be expected, since he’s from western Canada and they don’t exactly have nice clubs like Montreal does. Plus, he’s a country boy wanting to party with his new money. Yep, I blame Price.

Time Supper Club for Ballers Only

What happened to saving your money and not spending it foolishly during the recession? It seems that I’m the only one who’s broke these days, as the higher-end clubs are packed with the rich and the wealthy, and Montreal can’t seem to cater all of them. It used to be a rarity – “bottle service”. Now, no one steps foot outside their homes unless they have a reservation and a table, with a 6L bottle of Moet & Chandon to boot with.

Time Supper Club opened its doors to the public in 2002 and has been active since. I don’t know anything about ownership changes, what it used to look like the year before or what they serve on the menu, but I will tell you that they are definitely doing very well for themselves. I would think that a club that’s not on the St-Catherine strip or its surrounding area would fail business-wise, but this is not the case for Time. Naturally, I would suspect the place is advertised mainly by word of mouth from party-goers who happen to have an excellent time and had to mention to everybody they meet about the experience. And this works very well for the club, because they keep an exclusive image and distance themselves from their competitors.

There used to be a club in New York City, dubbed “Studio 54″. It used to be the place to go to in the 70’s as a lot of celebrities used to frequent it, and being seen there was a Big Deal™. With that said, good luck getting in because the doormen for Studio 54 were selective and only chose people who were either loaded or simply beautiful, the latter being surprisingly more important. In Time’s case, it rather have both qualities present in its clientele. The 20$ cover charge seems to prevent bums from accidentally getting inside, yet I don’t understand why people who reserve a table beforehand have to pay this silly tax. If I’m spending over 1000$ in a single night, why are you charging me 20$ to get in?

Time is definitely a great looking place, with its high ceiling, flashy lights and its glittering disco ball make you feel like you’re high class. The decor, atmosphere and overall quality and cleanliness of the place shows, although ignore the napkins tossed all over the floor. At the end of the night, you’ll most likely be tossing a few in the air yourself. There is an upstairs VIP section with its own private bar for those intimate nights with loved ones, which was vacant the last time I went surprisingly.

I’ve heard numerous times about the clientele being snobby or uptight at Time, but I personally did not notice any irregularities. Then again, I’m usually not affected as I’m not exactly a scrawny guy to get pushed around, so people tend to move out of the way for me when I’m coming through (I still excuse myself when I cut through, mind you). I think people should expect snobbishness, especially in a setting of this sort: you’ve got bottles of alcohol lined up across tables and money flying through the air. I’m not saying it’s okay to act like an asshole among other clientele, but expect people to be full of themselves as it makes them feel better about the money they’re plunking down to get crunked.

Pros

• Awesome decor, lights and atmosphere
• Decent sound system, great music
• Vacant & free parking around club
• People are well dressed and beautiful

Cons

• Drinks aren’t cheap; 10$ average
• Getting in is a bitch, so reserve a table beforehand or find friends with connections
• Clientele is somewhat snobby, be prepared
• Mens washrooms are too small; urinals are too close to each other
• Silly 20$ entrance tax

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