Swine Flu: The Pig is Back
Recently, the government of Canada started an ad campaign for swine flu awareness…. the panic for the pig is revived! So I thought I’d add a little to the panic. Here are some fast facts about H1N1.
How the Pig is Spread
It does not spread by eating pork, soooooo pork chops are still cool. It spreads through coughing, sneezing, or touching contaminated surfaces and then touching the nose/mouth.
Symptoms
Symptoms are similar to those of seasonal flu: fatigue, headache, fever, sore throat, sneezing, coughs, muscle aches and a runny nose.
The Vaccine
The government of Canada signed a 400 million$ contract with GlaxoSmithKline for 50.4 million doses of the H1N1 vaccine. According to a first clinical trial of the pandemic vaccine, one dose of the human swine flu vaccine provides almost 100 per cent immunity three weeks after vaccination.
Rules of Prevention
- Wash those hands often, especially after being in the metro/bus/train/any public place.
- When coughing or sneezing, do it into your arm instead of your hand. I think this could get trendy. And if it does, maybe smelling your armpit can be as well … we’re halfway there.
- Keep everyday surfaces in your house or office disinfected. There are some easy-to-apply sprays & wipes.
- Simple rule of thumb => Sick = STAY AT HOME until better!
It takes about two to seven days, after being infected, to start experiencing the symptoms.
The vast majority of people who are infected are not serious cases at all. Although if you have immune-suppressed health conditions or are a pregnant women, you might want to pay attention to those prevention rules since you could be more vulnerable.
Basically, there’s no need to panic just yet. The government has taken more than enough precautionary measures, so you can take your own. And if you’re the panicky type then just get the shot: they’ll be available in November.
For additional panic on H1N1: http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/alert-alerte/h1n1/faq_rg_h1n1-eng.php#vac
For the radio ads: http://www.fightflu.ca
The Habs Make the Playoffs: All Aboard the Bandwagon
The Montreal Canadiens organization is very classy and is stopping its train for all the people who gave up on the team to jump back on the bandwagon. We should see the flags that have disappeared back on the cars pretty soon. The good thing is that these people will blend in unnoticed because they can always say that the flag got too dirty in the winter, or broke off or their dog ate it. Regardless, the Canadiens made it to the playoffs. Maybe not from the backdoor, but it sure wasn’t from the front door; let’s just call it the side door, or even the chimney like Santa. The centennial season turned out to be somewhat disastrous. The media took this team and made it into a mockery, orchestrated by LaPresse, or cyberpresse.ca. Otherwise known as the shit disturbers of the team led by the Bowel movement king himself, Réjean Tremblay, followed by the over 80 journalists and other idiots who cover the Canadiens like TMZ covers Britney Spears. I wouldn’t be surprised if I see a picture of Tom Kostopoulos and his genitalia while getting out of his car one day…
As a celebration of the habs making the playoffs, we will be covering not the Canadiens, but the more than 80 pseudo-journalists covering the habs. You know, the ones who all talk and scream at the same time on pretty much all the channels after a hockey game? It’s pretty much Quebec’s definition of late night shows: different people talking about the the same thing, in a similar setting where the only different is the shape of the table and chairs.
Rita Rants: Drinking; a sad or sophisticated habit?
Earlier this week, I was seated in front of my computer finishing up some work when I noticed I had a bit of wine left in a bottle. Having spent a long day running around the city, I occasionally allow myself to have a glass at the end of my evening to unwind. However, I had to deal with a dilemma: there were no glasses in sight which basically meant I had to get up, go all the way to the kitchen to get one. No, I’m not that lazy, but this meant that I’d have to distance myself from my work, and when I’m on a roll, I don’t even get up to go to the bathroom. That’s right, I hold it in until I find a break… Wait, what the hell did you think I did??– awww you’re sick. So anyways, a weird thought popped into my mind… what if I just drank straight from the bottle? Why not? It is my bottle, there’s only a bit left and I’m alone so I won’t risk being subjected to judgmental stares. Needless to say, I discarded the bottle drinking idea because of the “bum” connotation linked to it. But in the end, it’s the same, right? The wine will taste just as good, so why should I feel like a bum? This got me thinking… where do we draw the line between the drunks and the connoisseurs?
A wine connoisseur can definitely have some wine every day, yet he’s not considered a drunk. He’ll be seen as quite the opposite actually, because his choice of alcohol gives him a higher social status no matter how many bottles he drinks. True, he does that little swirl thing and the sniffing, but that’s besides the point. So what, am I supposed to believe that the swirl & sniff separates us common folks from the high-class elite, sophisticated drinkers? Of course, a connoisseur knows his wine and many would consider this practice to be an art form and even a profession (Hi, I’m Bob… I drink for a living. No, really.) but who says Pierre-Jean from the corner McDonalds on St-Hubert doesn’t savor every drop from his bottle of vodka?
After a few minutes of pondering, I’ve found the answer. It’s actually quite simple. You see; a person’s level of class is solely based on the amount of times they transfer the liquid. Let me explain this theory:
- Drinking straight from a bottle of Chivas: not classy
- Transferring it in a nice straight sided whisky glass: classy
- Drinking wine from the bottle: not classy
- Transferring it to a wine coup: classy
- Transferring the wine into those weird large-bottom vases, and from there transfer it into a glass: very classy!
+ bonus points for the lifted pinky.
The same can be said for beer. But in that case, some drinkers take it up a notch and even skip a step in the production line by drinking straight from the keg, making them go to a -1 level of alcohol transfer. Those are considered to be the least classy drinkers.
So it’s not a matter of what or how much you drink, society has labeled the drunks as people who just skip a few steps.
So, why have we shunned the efficient ones? Instead of wasting time (and not to mention saving water by not having to dirty a few glasses to wash), they’ve managed to still have the same end result in half the time. If anything, they should be applauded!
Thank you, alcoholics, for trying to make this world a more environmentally friendly and efficient place, one 40-ouncer at a time.